And why you should even concern yourself with it in the first place
Shadow work has caught a little bit of attention on the internet recently. While many people have heard of it, most people don't know what it is or how to go about it. This article is going to break some of those things down but it's first important to understand why it's useful and why people would bother learning about it and taking it on in the first place. The fact is, shadow work can be confusing and extremely intimidating so why do it?
Let me put it this way... change is hard. At each layer of the psyche including our day to day behavior, change is difficult though necessary. Especially if you want to find a life that is fulfilling, content and happy. Happiness is a tricky term and concept that I'm not going to spend much time on here but I'm convinced that our ability to experience happiness will be limited as long as we avoid or fail to make necessary changes. Positive changes create the potential for greater happiness.
Life, if you ask me, has to be a series of reinvention or a series steps toward personal evolution. Change is both important and necessary and what I've learned is that in depth and quality shadow work is the most effective way to create personal change. Shadow work is an effective way to restructure the personality and the psyche. In a way, it's like going to the source code of a computer program. If you change that source code, the software is going to change and the computer is going to work better but in this case, we are that computer.
Quality shadow work can heal trauma, change your belief system and break destructive patterns and cycles, just to name a few.
Origins
The concept of the shadow and shadow work originated with one of the OG's of modern psychoanalytic theory, Carl Jung. If you're not familiar with Carl, he was born was in Switzerland and was a protege to the famous/infamous Sigmund Freud. As Carl became more experienced, he had many fundamental disagreements with Freud and they inevitably had a professional falling out. Unlike Freud, Carl has continued to garner a deep and robust loyal following decades after his death because of his work and his theories on psychoanalysis. I'm a big fan of Carl's work as a therapist and have found his approaches to be helpful and effective on a personal and professional level.
Carl used the term 'shadow' to describe parts of the psyche that were outside of our fields of awareness. People get stuck in destructive cycles and patterns and they don't know why they keep repeating the same painful mistakes. The answer lies outside of their awareness, in their shadow. It's called the shadow because it's dark and mysterious when it's outside of our field of awareness.
When we talk about shadow work, we are referring to the process of uncovering the reasons and bringing awareness to those reasons. When we build awareness, those things are no longer hidden in the shadow because the shadow only refers to things outside of our awareness.
It's important to bring things from the shadow and in to our awareness. When they remain in the shadow, they hold power over us. As Carl once said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." When things remain in the shadow, they hold power over us and when we bring them out of the shadow and into our awareness, that power dynamic switches. For reasons we don't entirely understand, our lives are directed by things in the shadow. Shadow work helps us take that power back.
Addiction, for example, happens because things stay outside of our awareness or in the shadow. Things like pain, trauma, fear, beliefs, core wounds, shame, self-hatred, etc. Addiction happens when we keep those things in the shadow where they remain buried. The addictive behaviors keep the pain buried and the cycles perpetuating. When we do shadow work, we bring things into a state of greater awareness and it's through that process that pain is released and we no longer have to keep it buried to survive.
That's a basic run down of shadow work, where it came from, who developed it and why people do it.
If you're feeling a bit skeptical about this process and whether or not it's effective, I promise you that it's not just effective, when done properly, it's the most effective method I've found for remedying just about every mental health issue outside things like autism or schizophrenia.
How to do shadow work
Doing shadow work on your own, if you've never taken it on, is going to be a challenge. Some therapists can help you with it though most can't. Frankly, a therapist must do their own shadow work before they can give you any real guidance on it. It's one of those things that is only understood by doing it. The best teachers are those who have learned through experience and believe it or not, most therapists aren't working on their mental health nearly to the degree that you might think or expect.
While a therapist can help you with shadow work, not every therapist can. Many of them don't even really believe in shadow work to begin with so do your homework and ask good questions. I've done shadow work for myself as well as walked some clients through it with dramatic results. I'm a big believer in shadow work. When it's done correctly, it can create amazing results.
The main objective to shadow work is to increase your awareness. Remember that as I elaborate on some of these steps.
So while a good therapist can help, here are a few factor points to get your on your way.
Go inwards - Successful shadow work requires thoughtful introspection. Learn to go inwards and practice it. Do it regularly. Learn to self-reflect. Take the time to think about yourself and examine your life. I realize that this process is a difficult and even painful one. Emotional pain is something that most people avoid but if you want to sort your issues out, pain must be faced but that's a different topic or at the very least, a different bullet point.
"Know thyself" - Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher first issues the challenge, to 'know thyself.' Do you understand your thoughts and your emotions? Do you know how your mind works and why? Do you understand your belief structure and why it exists? Do you understand the role of fear and anxiety in your life? Do you know what your issues and your struggles are why you have them? Shadow work is an ongoing thing, there's virtually no end to it. There's always more to learn and understand about yourself.
Think about your thoughts and observe your emotions - Most people don't think about their thoughts. Most people don't realize they can think about their thoughts. It's really useful, believe me. Take the stance of an observer and a learner. Gather data about your thoughts and behavior, you'll learn a ton. Your awareness will increase.
Journaling - Journaling and shadow work are a match made in heaven. Journaling through the whole process will not only accelerate the expansion of your personal awareness but it will also help you retain what you learned while improving your ability to integrate what you're learning. It also helps you be more objective instead of coming from that place of being hyper critical and judgmental toward yourself.
How do I know if I need to do shadow work?
The further you get into adulthood, the more you're likely going to benefit from shadow work. Everyone, to some degree or another, packs a whole bunch of psychological stuff away. Some people though, have what I would call a deep shadow or a shadow that runs deep. Their vision is narrow and their perspective is limited because of how much is outside of their awareness field.
The deeper the shadow, the more important shadow work becomes and the more likely the person is going to benefit from shadow work. Most other approaches and methods will prove to be slow and inefficient. So the question becomes, how do we know that a person has a deep shadow? Here are a few indicators.
You find yourself stuck in perpetual cycles - Do you find yourself repeating the same cycles of addiction, abuse or just general dysfunctional behaviors and you can't seem to break them? You might find yourself making fresh commitments to change but find yourself doing the same thing over and over again. Shadow work helps to uncover the root causes of things and helps you reprogram yourself. It helps to uncover the core issue and the core wound. Sometimes the problem is that we've been holding onto some pain and we need to work through it so that it can be released. Even bringing awareness to the cycle and coming to a greater understanding of it can help break them.
You are impulsive and compulsive - If you're prone to addictive behaviors, good quality shadow work can do wonders. Even if you find yourself doing certain things impulsively or compulsively, shadow work can help because, once again, you get to the core of the issue and by bringing awareness to it, you will find the compulsion to do certain things won't be nearly as strong. The key, again, is to bring awareness to it. Some examples of impulsive behaviors would be impulsive drinking or spending or feeling compelled to spend a lot of time on social media without being able to reasonably stop yourself. Addiction also applies, obviously, to drug and alcohol use as well. If you find that certain things rule over you, in other words, you serve those things instead of them serving you, shadow work can be immensely helpful. Addiction treatment programs aren't successful because they address the addictive behaviors while doing a poor job of getting to the core reasons why the addiction is happening in the first place.
You are highly emotional and emotionally volatile - Do your emotions often get the better of you? Are you ruled by emotions? Do they happen unpredictably? Do you find yourself getting overly upset and the reasons are confusing? Do you feel a lot of guilt and shame after you've had a major emotional episode? If you feel like these apply to you, then you would likely benefit from shadow work. People who see the process through find greater levels of personal control.
You sometimes feel like a different person - It's extremely common for people to have a dualistic nature meaning that they can seem like different people when situations change. When we're talking about shadow work, we start looking at the version that is forward facing and exists in a day to day sense and then we look at the shadow version that looks like an alter ego. This phenomenon has been observed in humans for an extremely long time. The story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is exactly a story about how an alter ego comes loose and takes over for periods of time, reeking total havoc in that person's life. Some people have experienced an extremely stark difference between the two, finding their alter ego to be like an entirely different person who forces themselves into the driver seat. In many of these cases, the alter ego is causing significant issues leading to addictive and destructive behaviors that can lead to loss of job, loss of family or loss of relationships in general. It also has that backfire effect when people become more angry and upset with themselves through this dynamic. Beating yourself up over it and avoiding the need for the introspective part of the process is only going to make the problem worse and keep the cycle perpetuating. The goal is to integrate the ego and the alter ego. Instead of having them operate independently, we want them to merge and we want the front facing part of us to be in the drivers seat. When these different parts merge and integrate, you acquire a greater sense of self or identity and it builds your ego strength and your self-esteem. We don't want the shadow ego driving the car and shadow work is the best way to accomplish this.
The overall idea here is self-control. How is your self-control? If it's lousy, shadow work can be immensely helpful.
The challenges of shadow work
I'm not going to lie. Shadow work is challenging, difficult, painful and scary. Not to mention that it can be intense. So it's important to note that the results can make you extremely happy and satisfied. The more intense the ride is, the better your results are going to be. It has all been totally worth it to me. One of the first steps is to know how to properly support yourself. You must learn and practice how to emotionally support yourself and take the role of a loving and supportive person in your life.
You also have to keep in mind that while the ride can be bumpy, it's not permanent and if approached with respect and caution, there's no lasting damage. It's necessary to treat trauma with care and respect what I call the trauma threshold. Shadow work is likely to uncover some troubling truths about the past but the pain behind those events directs your life as long as it stays tucked away. Rest assured, there are many ways to treat trauma with care as it should be.
In order to be successful with shadow work, we have to accept that the process is going to be an uncomfortable one. People are far to afraid of emotional discomfort and it's one of the reasons that we are collectively experiencing these breakdowns. Pain is a necessary trait for growth. It's also a necessary thing for healing. If you want to do shadow work, be prepared for it to be difficult and for it to make you extremely uncomfortable at times. It can be a highly vulnerable process that causes intense emotions.
Through the process of shadow work, it's important to remember that you don't always have to act on intense emotions. In many cases, you'll just stir things up that will create additional issues and problems. Remember that just because you have an emotion doesn't mean that the emotion requires action. Instead, it's better to sit with the uncomfortable emotions instead of trying to do something with them. Just let them be what they are.
A therapist may be able to help you with the whole thing but remember that most therapists are just the blind leading the blind. Basic theory on the shadow is covered in basic psychology but therapists aren't educated or trained on deep shadow work. If you want a therapist to help you with it, you should specifically seek a therapist that has spent time working with these methods, don't just go to anybody. Therapists who help with shadow work have taken the time to learn it and practice it.
Again, when it's done well and done correctly, it can create incredibly positive results but it's not for wimps.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Dr. Richard Schwartz has developed an approach to therapy called Internal Family Systems or IFS that is, in essence, a simple and organized way to do shadow work. I've worked with IFS not only for myself but many of my clients and I frankly love it. Again, if done well and correctly, it's incredibly effective and helpful.
I find that IFS is also a less abrasive approach though it's pretty much guaranteed that difficult and uncomfortable things are going to come up. However, IFS is also a highly supportive and caring approach as it looks at the different fragments or parts that make us who we are.
I've used IFS with many clients in order to do some of the shadow work and I prefer to use it with painful trauma and in fact, it's been my preferred method for trauma work in general. It's extremely effective and it helps heal trauma without ever discussing the specifics of highly traumatic events.
IFS builds on the idea that each person is built from a myriad of pieces called parts but I also like to call them fragments. Trauma, especially, has a way of breaking us into pieces and those different pieces or parts have a way of making us extremely complicated. IFS seeks to work with individual parts by understanding their purpose and changing the fundamental role they play in our psyche. The goal is to integrate those parts and help them become team players instead of having them work against us since these parts have a tendency to adopt their own agenda which they will continue to serve, sort of like a computer program, until we change the programming.
I also like IFS because it recognizes that different parts tend to hold onto emotional pain and focuses on releasing it. When we're able to do so, things begin to change and the individual finds they are just feeling better which is one of the real goals for attending therapy in the first place. People just want to feel better.
In short, IFS is an excellent way to introduce shadow work and carry it through. There are a few other techniques that are helpful as well, a couple that I've developed on my own such as mapping out cycles. I've worked these methods myself and have found them to be helpful.
In closing, shadow work is a hell of a ride. When it's done well and done correctly, it can help create incredible changes. If you'd like to choose me as your therapist in this journey, I hope you'll take the time to reach out. Happy journeys.